A Little Humor For A Rainy Tuesday
Lark News (this is satire, remember that) is brilliant:
As Homer Simpson would say, ‘it’s funny because it’s true’:
Church members struggle to memorize mission statement
VISALIA, Calif. — First Covenant Church unveiled a new mission statement last week, hoping to launch the church into an era of greater unity and spiritual effectiveness.
But response to the two-page statement has been decidedly mixed among church members who despair of memorizing it as the church has requested.
“It’s a verbal tangle of quasi-eloquent nothingness,” grumbles one man. “I can’t even say it right when it’s projected on the screen. I end up with a mouthful of blah.” Read the rest …
For those who believe a church is a place to consume:
Afraid of breaking news to pastors, family now attends six churches
The Harrelsens’ 4-year-old daughter has developed calluses from doing so many crafts each week. But she firmly believes that everyone attends six churches. The family’s car is swimming in church bulletins and Sunday school hand-outs.
Their teenage son is annoyed at having to attend six churches, but sees some upsides.
“I meet more girls, but I have a hard time remembering their names,” he says. Read the rest …
And I’m sure Darrel and Mark have felt like doing this more than once:
Pastor eBays congregation
BIG TIMBER, Mont. — Without their consent or knowledge, a pastor in rural Montana has sold his church and congregation on eBay for $3 million.
“I finally got good and sick of them,” says Tad Marshall, pastor for 15 years who completed the secret sale last week. “This serves them right. All of them.”
But many in the church are stunned by the Marshall family’s sudden departure.
“We had such a good relationship,” says Winifred Barnes. “Whenever I called him in the middle of the night to pray for my psoriasis, he was happy to help. I’m surprised he would treat us this way.” Read the rest …